After being at your service for more than four years, we have noted a change in the relationship that you have with us. It has come to our attention that we are your most favorite pair, or is it that we are aging and it feels ok to wear us to all unimportant places? We wish its the former, but we are aware that it is probably both.
Moreover, it has been a while since we were last cleaned. And by a while we mean a while; we wish not to embarrass you by not disclosing a while in numerical values. Originally, we were white but now we can’t even identify ourselves. The pants you wear have expressed their dismay at our condition by not reaching down to us. We now know that the only time we make contact with water is when it rains and we have to tread and slosh through puddles while rain drums hard on us.
At first, we wanted to write a dear John letter to you, but then we realized that either we don’t like you, vice versa or both. However, on the inside we remain intact and comfy; your socks can confirm this, and on the outside we have been battered, stained and scarred. And even though we are two, at heart we remain one and dear to each other until you put us asunder.
It is therefore with no regret that we have to impart this news to you and we believe it to be almost certainly the truth.
We have the honor to humbly remain, sir/madam, at your service
Your white Nike Shox”